Pro Wrestling Comments

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE ELEVENTH EDITION OF "THE BEAU ZONE" ON THE HARD ROCK HEROES WEBSITE FROM MARCH TO NOVEMBER 2008.

On Saturday Night's Main Event this past August 18, in the illegitimate child angle, Johnathan Coachman talks about Vince McMahon being at an afterparty in L.A. after Wrestlemania 2 in 1986 and brings out Melina as a possible daughter. Vince McMahon wasn't in L.A. for Wrestlemania 2. He was in New York commentating with Susan Saint James. That was the three-city Wrestlemania with the celebrity commentators. L.A. had Jesse Ventura and Elvira (with Lord Alfred Hayes added at the last minute) and Chicago had Gorilla Monsoon and Cathy Lee Crosby (with Gene Okerlund added at the last minute). McMahon and Saint James were at Nassau Colisseum and SNME was at New York's Madison Square Garden, so the crowd should have groaned at that, except that most of the crowd now is probably too young to remember 1986. Also, the live crowd doesn't hear the commentators, for those in the crowd that do remember because they were in the arena, and furthermore, as I recall, McMahon and Saint James were not in the arena at ringside but were doing their commentary from a table in the back for some reason.

When Vince McMahon's "demise" happened on Raw with the limo blowing up, I first thought....."The Voodoo Kin Mafia finally succeeded!" Good thing they never took credit for it on TNA TV, what with the Benoit thing happening right after that and Vince, not in character, forced to show his face on TV.

In TNA, next time Brother Ray tells a house show crowd that he'd rather masturbate with broken glass, Abyss should show up with the bag of broken glass and pour it in the ring and invite Ray to utilize it.

The wrestling media says WWE doesn't want to promote Marcus Cor Von as a former NFL linebacker because that's the way TNA promoted him. So it was funny in that battle royal he was in on Raw with all three commentating teams when JBL and Tazz were arguing about him and JBL brings up the point, "But he played in a Super Bowl, Tazz!" Leave it to JBL, who can say whatever the hell he wants out there. (Since that time, Cor Von has left WWE.)

If James Storm ever finds himself in the same ring as Steve Austin, his gimmick still works, because the heel drinks his beer out of a bottle. The face drinks his out of cans. Bottles are more dangerous than cans. Storm hits people over the head with his beer bottle. Maybe he'll hit Austin one day. So it makes sense. If anyone thinks this feud will never happen, well, maybe that's why TNA now has Stone Cold Shark Boy! (Even though he too, drinks, or "drinks," his drink of choice, which isn't beer but clam juice, out of bottles.)

WWE fired Cryme Time, and I wonder if this had something to do with it: Cryme Tyme get no reaction from the crowd because the fans can't understand why these guys are supposed to be faces with all the henious things they've done. Some of the stuff they've done in their skits is funny, but it really only works if they're heels. I think this is what you get when you take "cool heels" and make them babyfaces. Cyrus used to say on the former Joe & Cyrus wrestling radio show that he hates cool heels because the crowd makes them the babyface. I don't agree, because the actions of the heels are still henious. They just conduct themselves in such a fashion that gets the alternative members of society - which isn't the majority in a crowd of arena wrestling fans - to be fans of them, but ONLY because the goings-on in pro wrestling are just storyline. My friends and I used to cheer Jesse Ventura and Adrian Adonis in the AWA in the '70s. We knew their attitudes weren't real. But most wrestling fans aren't that sophisticated, they're more like sheep, so they'll continue to boo "cool heels." I just wonder if someone in WWE was doing this on purpose, to show that cool heels can't really be actual babyfaces.

Juno Awards Stuff

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE SIXTH EDITION OF "THE BEAU ZONE" ON THE HARD ROCK HEROES WEBSITE FROM AUGUST TO DECEMBER 2005.

The Juno Awards were held in Winnipeg this past April. I have lots of comments about that:

Before the show, I had heard an announcement would be forthcoming from CARAS concerning previously-announced Juno Award performers and presenters that would now be dropping out of the awards show as they had just realized the Junos are being held the same night as Wrestlemania 21. Some of these celebrities were thinking of coming to Winnipeg anyway and just watch it at The O.C. (formerly The Beach, formerly Scandals, formerly Haggar's) at the Norlander Inn with Joe & Cyrus. Yes, I'm kidding around, although if that did happen, I wonder what matches they would have chosen to miss when it's time to spend a few minutes in the outdoor smoking compound, unless they had TVs set up out there. And there's no truth to the rumor that Neil Young was at first denied access to watch the Junos at the Canadian consulate in New York because Pamela Wallin's staff wanted to watch Wrestlemania 21, either. I wonder if Neil wanted to see W21, though? Now, how about Chantal Kreviazuk? Cancelled her appearance due to pregnancy? A likely story. She just wanted to see W21! Maybe she wanted to cheer on her fellow Winnipeg hometown hero Chris Jericho.

On a more serious note, since I couldn't get around to this comment at the time of Northern Lights, Northern Stars, the opening show at our new arena, the MTS Centre, here it is now as it pertains to the Junos: I predicted someone will say to Burton Cummings or Randy Bachman that night, "I bought your first record/I bought my first record by you right here in this building when it was Eaton's!"

And too bad Bryan Adams didn't come. When/if he does show up at MTS Centre to perform, where the stage is located is pretty damn close to where A & A Records was at Eaton Place when he did an autograph signing there when he was in Winnipeg opening for Loverboy at Winnipeg Arena in 1982. Wonder if he'd remember. I got his autograph on his "Lonely Nights" picture single. There were about 15 people in line, I think. Wow. I asked him if he'd do "Let Me Take You Dancing," a Saints Roller Rink fave. I didn't think he would but I thought I might hear an interesting story about that oddball disco song with chipmunk vocals that came out before his first album did and has never been on any album. Instead, he just said, "No." Oh, okay. Man of few words, I guess.

Kathy Hilton/Jay Leno/Eric Bischoff Stuff

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE SIXTH EDITION OF "THE BEAU ZONE" ON THE HARD ROCK HEROES WEBSITE FROM AUGUST TO DECEMBER 2005.

Forgive me for this not being in the "Pro Wrestling" section in case you don't get this..... A recent edition of The National Enquirer reported that Kathy Hilton and her daughter Paris Hilton almost had a fight causing Paris not to appear on The Tonight Show with her mother recently. They made up, however, when Jay Leno reportedly wouldn't have Kathy Hilton on by herself. Well, of course not! Kathy Hilton's appearance was to plug her new show, I Want To Be A Hilton (which rocks, by the way - and Jules is hot). That's the show WWE Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff revealed to Joe Aiello in his famous No Holds Barred interview on CITI FM here in Winnipeg last year that he and his partner Jason Hervey had sold to NBC. THE SAME ERIC BISCHOFF that, with Hulk Hogan, as the NWO a few years ago, tried to take over The Tonight Show from Jay Leno! Remember that? Jay had to go get Diamond Dallas Page and two cops to take Hogan and Bischoff out! Of course Jay isn't going to play ball with Eric! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Pro Wrestling Comments

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE FIFTH EDITION OF "THE BEAU ZONE" ON THE HARD ROCK HEROES WEBSITE FROM APRIL TO AUGUST 2005.

Remember the Breakaway Club at the Polo Park Inn, when the wrestlers would go there to hang out after the card? They're just in the room, among the fans. None of this Sunfest/CITI FM VIP area crap. (God, I HATED seeing that VIP room with a roof, places to sit and fridges right there in front at Sunfest, just flaunting it right in front of the PAYING fans who have to put up with the elements - I hope that stupid VIP area was why Sunfest died - a VIP area should be ten miles from the stage so that anyone in it needs binoculars to see the band - give the PAYING FANS the damn benches, fridges, and a roof over their head. If I was invited in the VIP area during the Hard Rock Heroes years, I would have checked it out, but probably not stayed there long, as I would have been embarrased to be in there.) So when Chris Jericho's band Fozzy came to town that first time at The Colesseum in December 2003 and Joe Aiello on CITI FM's No Holds Barred said WWE wrestlers might be at the gig because it took place after that night's WWE card, I truly, sincerly thought it would be a throwback to the Breakaway Club days with the wrestlers just in the bar among the people. I never dreamed in my wildest dreams they would be sequestered into a damn upstairs VIP area. I sure felt like a peon that night, little old me, JUST A PAYING FAN. So what would it take to bring back the days of the Breakaway Club? And just where DO the wrestlers go after the card now? Is it really like the article in the WWE Mag that said Kane reads Shakespeare novels after the card, etc., and no one goes to bars anymore? I wondered to myself if the wrestlers would be going to the Tijuana Yacht Club when that place first opened, but when I went there after the first applicable WWE card, no wrestlers showed up. So where are they? DO they just go out in public anymore like they used to at the Breakaway Club? Or are they just too big for that now? And I don't mean that sarcasticly - ARE WWE superstars more like Elvis and Britney now, that they would get really hounded in public, moreso than they ever did at the Breakaway Club? I e-mailed Cyrus at the time that Fozzy gig happened to tell him maybe this would make a good future subject for his Winnipeg Sun column, but alas, he never approached it, and now he doesn't do a column anymore.

Speaking of Cyrus, I had been drooling at the thought of upcoming stories in the Stanley Weston wrestling mags on Don Callis taking control of TNA (a cover story with Don on the cover, perhaps?), but alas, I guess that happened, along with Don suddenly quitting the company a bit later, in such a time period that allowed all of that to occur between issues. I had been hoping Don's taking control of TNA would be right before their deadline, hence all the cover stories. Since that wasn't the case, the info was just buried in their news tidbits with the addition that Don had left the company for "a full-time job in his hometown." Oh, well.

So if Lita's baby really was Kane's, but Matt Hardy had won that night's match on Raw, would the baby have been (or still have been) named Matt Hardy, Version 2?

I guess a couple of weeks after it happened, JBL got one of those photo radar tickets in the mail from Eddie Guerrero driving his limo. If that had happened here for our Smackdown taping, would he have gotten Bob Holliday to pay the ticket?

Pro Wrestling Comments

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE FOURTH EDITION OF "THE BEAU ZONE" ON THE HARD ROCK HEROES WEBSITE FROM DECEMBER 2004 TO APRIL 2005.

I heard that the Kane vs. Gene Snitsky match at our next WWE card in January 2005, the first one at the MTS Centre, will be a pinfalls count anywhere in the building match. I guess the referee will have to stop them from wrestling into the skywalks, into either Portage Place or Cityplace, 'cause once they go into those skywalks, they're not in the building anymore. If they did wrestle through the skywalks into Portage Place and the food court, I guess it would look like just another day at Portage Place. Maybe the Indian Posse and the Manitoba Warriors can join in the fun.

Let's go back to July when Raw and Smackdown were both held at Winnipeg Arena for two days in a row. My thoughts at the time were: Maybe Chris Jericho can wrestle someone into Polo Park while it's still open before 9:30 p.m. at the July 5 Raw at the arena. Remember that WCW PPV where he and his opponent (forgot who) wrestled across the street and into an office building? Gee, not many office buildings are open Sunday nights, either. Better yet, If Chris wrestles someone into Polo Park, WWE shouldn't tell anyone at Polo Park, they should just go ahead and do it. It'll be a battle royal of Polo Park security guards vs. Winnipeg Arena security guards! Geez, the arena guards will actually get cheered for the first time in their lives! And all live on Spike TV and TSN!!! Here's also what should have happened: Remember how Chris did a Fozzy gig at Cowboys after Raw was over? How about if Christian and Trish Stratus sneak attack Chris onstage at the Fozzy gig and WWE cameras capture it? Travis Tomko will still be backstage as Tony Condello will be asking him if he's related to Al Tomko. Then Christian and Trish can lay out the rest of the band and security guards as they try to make the save and sing their own songs on stage for a while. The smart marks in the crowd would be furiously typing e-mails to Dave Meltzer on their cell phones. It would have been tremendous.

Remember when Eric Bischoff told William Regal on Raw if he doesn't look after Eugene he'll "never work in this business again?" Not just WWE, but the entire business. Joe Aiello said he was scheduled to tape an interview with Bischoff the following Wednesday - the famous NHB interview Bischoff did. Hey, Joe should have told Bischoff if it happens that Regal is dismissed from WWE that he & Cyrus have every intention of booking him for a NHB show whether Bischoff likes it or not and see what he says.

Regarding Big Show throwing Kurt Angle off that platform: Someone should tell Big Show that just because Hulk Hogan can throw him off the roof of Cobo Hall and he can survive doesn't mean Kurt Angle can survive anything similiar, too.

Pro Wrestling Comments

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE SECOND EDITION OF "THE BEAU ZONE" ON THE HARD ROCK HEROES WEBSITE FROM JUNE TO SEPTEMBER 2004.

Speaking of The Apprentice, as I was above, here's my idea for a new reality show: It's kind of like The Apprentice, only instead of Donald Trump, you have The Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase, and he makes the teams do all the Fear Factor stuff. When someone asks what these things have to do with running a business, he tells them to shut up and has Virgil beat them up and belittle them. At the end, everyone goes to the board room. The door opens and Ted walks in. Already sitting on his side of the table is Virgil on one side of him and IRS on the other side. Ted then proceeds to fire everyone. It'll be tremendous.

Before Trish Stratus turned heel, I had this idea for how she should turn: Picture a tag team match: Chris Jericho and Trish Stratus vs. Christian and a mystery female partner, who will turn out to be.....Chris' wife Jessica!!! Trish will scream, "You have a WIFE?" and the three of them will triple team Chris. Chris should now be the heel and the other three the faces, but in WWE logic, since you can't have three faces ganging up on someone, the announcers will feel sorry for Jericho, saying he doesn't deserve this kind of triple-team treatment, and will sway Chris into being the face and the other three the heels. Trish will start swearing and smoking in addition to wearing more stilettos to reflect her new heel character. It'll all also be tremendous.

Speaking of Chris Jericho, how about that week on Raw where he comes out and talks about how excited the crowd is to see Canada's greatest athlete - you mean Angelo Mosca was there? And don't say Gene Kiniski - Mosca's the one who won that feud with Kiniski in 1977 at the Winnipeg Arena to determine who Canada's greatest athlete is.

Before this gets too old, as if it isn't already, remember the NHB card Joe and Cyrus put on at The Colesseum (now Cowboys)? If you were there, you'll remember the ring entrance music was awful. I hope they get that fixed for next time. What does Cyrus' entrance have to do with Iron Maiden's "Run To The Hills?" Usually it's the TNN ECW theme that's played for him. And the DJ didn't have that Deep Purple song (forgot the name of it, but I believe it's from the Perfect Strangers album) for Shane Douglas' entrance, either. By the way, playing that song was a nice touch at the previous show at Coyote's when Shane was there, as Joe & Cyrus apparently figured out Shane's WCW music sounded exactly like that song. Maybe if they get DDP here they can play Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" for his music.

Someone should start a new indie wrestling league called MFW - Middle Finger Wrestling. Nice ring to it, eh?

Hey, how about a battle royal where the winner gets to be called "The Coach?" The participants will be John Tolos, Johnathan Coachman, Scott Taylor, and Jeff Allan (whatever happened to him?). I always thought it was funny, but frustrating, that here are two guys opposite each other on the radio calling themselves "The Coach" and no one ever commented on air how funny (as in funny/weird) that was. Of course, the competition doesn't exist, so neither CITI FM (Taylor) nor whatever 97 called themselves at the time (Allan) would acknowledge it. But no one in the Winnipeg press made those comments, either. It could be because of rock radio's low reputation, but that's another story for another day.