Life's A Fairy Tale: What A Music Video For Streetheart's "Snow White" Might Look Like

How about another blog entry on Streetheart? The last one was my idea of the ultimate set list. This one will be much more creative: What if Streetheart had done a music video for their song "Snow White," off their fifth album, the self-titled Streetheart album? What would it look like?

First, some background information and housekeeping. Okay. That album came out in 1982. MTV started in 1981. I don't believe there are any music videos for any songs on this album. Why? I believe it's because this album was released only in Canada, and MTV did not air in Canada. Canada did not yet have Muchmusic, which started in 1984. So there was no place to air videos. I can't remember if the CBC was airing Good Rockin' Tonight in 1982, but if they were, that's just one show, so to air a Streetheart video once and be done with it wouldn't have been worth it to produce a video just for that.

When you look at what the '80s became with music videos, partying, and hair metal, the song "Snow White" would be a natural for a music video, with lyrics about a high-school girl who everyone thinks is "peaches and cream" but who sneaks out of her room and goes "out the window and down the ladder" to go out and party late at night after her parents think she's gone to bed. 

So here's my fantasy about what this music video could/would look like:

As with a lot of videos, before the music starts, you see the girl in bed with the covers on her. Her mother has put her to bed, and as the mother talks to her about family issues as she looks at things or cleans up things in the room, not really looking at her daughter, the girl rolls her eyes. One of the things in the room we see could be a photo of the girl wearing her school uniform standing beside her mother, to go with the line in the song, "School uniform, looks so charming." The mother looks at her, wishes her a good night's sleep, and leaves the room. The mother doesn't question her daughter as to why the girl is wearing full makeup and red lipstick.

Now the song starts. The girl smiles and pulls back the covers. She's wearing a black sequined minidress and black stiletto heels. She opens the window and climbs down a tree to her waiting girlfriends friends in a cab. They head to a club.

Now, when they arrive at the club, this next scene recreates what I actually saw once at Fridays, the club that used to be at the Travelodge in St. Vital here in Winnipeg, that is now Doubles Fun Club, coincidentally right around the time this album was released. I waited in line the longest I have ever waited in a nightclub lineup - two hours. During that two hours, two girls pushed through the lineup, the one girl, who, by the way, I have been picturing in my mind as the girl in the video this whole time while writing all this, who looked with her hairstyle and face like a cross between Disney's Snow White and Sarah Hyland, jumped up and wrapped her legs around one of the bouncers and kissed him on the cheek, and the bouncer let her and her friend in the club without waiting in line or paying cover. I remember seeing her dancing with a big grin on her face when I finally got in. I was thinking, "Who are these girls?" So why not do that in the video? If you're watching this on TV or on You Tube and you're not one of the people actually in line, you enjoy watching the underdog triumph. Especially when the underdog is normally smothered and overwhelmed in a world of parents and teachers.

So now the girls are dancing with guys they know at the club. And lo and behold, behind them on the dance floor, on the stage, are Streetheart playing the song. I hope there is the right archival footage that can be used for this. Maybe AI can help. It would be cool if we could see the girl wave "hi" or give a look, then we see Kenny Shields on stage wave back, or return a look. Then we see Jeff Neill and Spider beside each other giving the girl a thumbs-up and a look as they're playing their guitars and basses.

Now, because they're in a club and not at school, and because things are so politically correct nowadays, this video would have to completely ignore the second verse about the "special classes" a teacher is giving Snow White after school that includes the line, "I bet I know who's teaching who." But I think everything I am describing, both before and after this paragraph, will take up the time of the second verse just fine.

Okay, so now it hits the girl the amount of time they've spent in the club. She has a "yikes" look on her face and looks at her watch and is horrified. She runs out of the club by herself and looks around. There's a cab! She gets in. The cab races to her home. She gets out, runs up the tree (yes, with her stilettos still on - eat your heart out, Mariah Carey), climbs in the window, and gets in bed just in time. Her mother walks into the room as she pretends to sleep. Her mother has a contented look on her face. She begins to leave, and says, as she looks at her watch, "Sweetheart, you better be getting up for school soon." As she finishes saying that, she sees the girl's foot with the black high heel her daughter's wearing sticking out the end of the bed. She looks horrified and looks at her daughter's face. Her daughter is fast asleep and the sleep has gotten more intense. She calls out her daughter's name repeatedly, and her daughter doesn't hear her, that's how badly she needs sleep now. And that's how the video ends!

What is the girl's name the mother calls her at the end? I don't know, but in addition to the girl from Fridays I saw above, who I didn't know, so I didn't know her name, there was a girl I worked with at McDonald's on St. Anne's Road in the early '80s who, with her girlfriend, did this exact kind of stuff described in "Snow White." Her name was Debbie, but that name sounds old-fashioned today, unfortunately. Debbie was estranged from her parents and lived with her girlfriend in the Southdale suburb of Winnipeg. Debbie had hair kind of like Disney's Snow White, too, at one point. And Debbie and her friend, Andrea, used to sneak out of the house to go partying, too. Not sure if they went out the window. I think they were underage. But the whole "Snow White" scenario could still work if the girl(s) are 18 (and presumably in grade 12) and can legally drink and go to clubs in Manitoba, because of the parents' "my house, my rules" thing. But people could get into bars while underage a lot easier in the early '80s than today. My first time in a bar was when I was 16. Alas, I didn't become legal until after high school was over. My birthday is in July.

So both that girl from Fridays and Debbie make me think of "Snow White" by Streetheart, and both inspired me to write this. Another Streetheart song has the lyric, "Wonder where she'll be in five years." I wonder where both girls are now.  

Dancing With Danger: The Ultimate Streetheart Set List

So what do you guys think of this? I’ve never heard Streetheart exactly the way I’d love to, so I spent a couple of days putting this together. This is kind of like fan fiction, though, once you get to the encore, because it imagines an arena concert when Kenny Shields was still with us, in, I guess, the post-1983 time period sometime. Who would like to see this? 

THE ULTIMATE STREETHEART SET LIST 

Without Your Love
Drugstore Dancer 
Action
Tin Soldier
Teenage Rage
Nobody Like You
Trouble
Underground
Angela
What Kind Of Love Is This
Look In Your Eyes
Hollywood
Comin’ True
Snow White 

Encore: 

Highway Isolation (Whole band on stage except Kenny but spotlight only on Spider. At end, goes right into.....)
Have It Your Way (Spotlight turns off of Spider, darkness for a few seconds, turns back on, on Kenny, way up there on the Streetheart logo coming down.)
Can You Feel It
Under My Thumb 

Missing from the set are Miss Plaza Suite and One More Time because, I’m sorry, I think both those songs are so boring. 

Greatest Hits Albums

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE ELEVENTH EDITION OF "THE BEAU ZONE" ON THE HARD ROCK HEROES WEBSITE FROM MARCH TO NOVEMBER 2008.

Something a little different this time around on The Beau Zone. A few weeks ago, Winnipeg Free Press writer David Sanderson asked me to contribute something to an article he was writing for the paper's Saturday Detour section on the 50th anniversary of the greatest hits album. I initially thought that meant I would be quoted in his article, but instead he just put some of my comments, along with other Winnipeg celebrities' comments, in a certain section of the page alongside the article. So he took a few of my many comments I e-mailed him and squished them together the best he could. I kind of feel some of what he printed was taken out of context, although if he had printed what my context was, I admit the resulting piece would have been too long. Nevertheless, since I'm overdue for a new Beau Zone, I thought I'd reprint my original e-mail to him here in the next few paragraphs for your pleasure. Enjoy.

Thanks for thinking of me, David. I have to generally go into my vinyl albums, because I don't have time to really think about the CD compilations that come out now, although I buy some of them. It was in the '70s that my friends and I played albums over and over and really got to know them. For this reason, greatest hits albums were a bit off our radar, because we had the songs already and they didn't have the flow we already had become accustomed to from the individual albums. Live albums made the songs flow better.

That being said, I took a quick look at my record collection, and, although I can't decide upon one all-time favorite, here are some random thoughts:

1) I love Kiss' "Double Platinum," their first greatest hits collection from 1978 that they entrusted Jimmy Iovine to remix, where he made new versions of some of the songs, although they weren't that happy with some of the resulting tracks. Some of what he did that I love included Hard Luck Woman where the drums don't come in until the second verse, or Calling Dr. Love, with the added mystery in the intro and the effect of emphasis on the sleazy guitar line during the chorus when Gene's vocal is removed right after the guitar solo.

2) "All The Best from Prism" had a lot of airplay at friends' parties when it came out, just 'cause they were one of those bands that "passed us by," so to speak, but had enough hits that a greatest hits collection that captured them all sufficed perfectly.

3) Streetheart: There's never been a decent Streetheart greatest hits compilation. Formerly, this seemed to be due to the band appearing on two different record companies in its' career and the problems that entails, probably financially, to include songs from both record companies on one compilation. The Rolling Stones can do it, but they obviously have way more money than anyone connected with Streetheart. The "60 Minutes With Streetheart" CD (now out of print, I believe) on Capitol had to include live versions of their WEA songs. I guess those songs were unavailable for a Capitol release. "Action: The Best Of Streetheart" only comprises their WEA stuff after Streetheart left WEA and is basically a too-early compilation. Recently, whoever is doing the "Essential" CDs put out "The Essential Streetheart" with songs from both record companies, but it has only around ten tracks just thrown together without rhyme or reason. I hate CDs like that. The first song doesn't sound like it should be the first song on the CD, etc. I didn't have time to remember who put that out, if it was Capitol or who. There's an interesting very early cover photo of the band, probably when they were called Witness, I believe even pre-Paul Dean/Matt Frenette, that probably has other members who have left, but there's no liner notes or anything telling us about that photo or anything else. Just completely slipshod. Streetheart needs a worthy greatest hits album that has between 15 and 20 songs on it.

4) Beatles: I have a soft spot for 1976's "Rock And Roll Music," a double album with all their uptempo songs mixed to sound louder and brasher. I guess this is more of a "compilation" and less of a "greatest hits" album. For a real greatest hits album, I don't know what's better: "20 Greatest Hits" (is that still in print?), their new CD "No. 1s," or the vinyl-but-CD-or-boxed-set-styled-in-hindsight albums 1962-66 and 1967-70. Depends what mood you're in at the time, I guess.

5) "Aerosmith's Greatest Hits:" I always like it when greatest hits albums pick up wayward tracks that were singles only or given to movie soundtracks. In this case, it was "Come Together" from the Sgt. Pepper soundtrack. This album also makes me think of the Aerosmith biography where Joe Perry talks about how, during the time he wasn't in the band and was doing The Joe Perry Project, some kid gave him this album to autograph and it was the first time he had ever heard of it or seen it. No one had told him of its' release.

6) Recent CDs? Well, before I was into hard rock, I was into '70s pop and bubblegum, so I absolutely adore "Absolutely The Best Of The Archies" and The Partridge Family "Greatest Hits." And yes, I'm going to see David Cassidy. Ace Frehley, too, for that matter. Along the same vein, very valuable is TimeLife's "AM Top Twenty: Sounds Of The Seventies," an excellent collection that contains such early '70s AM gems as The Night Chicago Died, Billy Don't Be A Hero, and Rock Me Gently. The only CD I've ever bought from an infomercial. My most-played non-Kiss CD. I also like "The Best Of Foghat," because they did blues-boogie, but my friends and I liked their straight hard rock stuff, so their albums were spotty to us. Their live album, "Foghat Live," was one of our top albums. So "The Best Of Foghat" effectively collects all their best hard rock tracks. The CD "Anthology" by Angel (remember them, with their white outfits?) needs more songs from the "Sinful" album.

7) Have to include this: In the "Television's Greatest Hits" records/CDs, my favorites are volumes 2 and 5 with the most memorable sitcom and cartoon TV theme songs. The first one is good, too.

Beauty Pageants And The Whole Tara Conner Thing

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE TENTH EDITION OF "THE BEAU ZONE" ON THE HARD ROCK HEROES WEBSITE FROM JUNE 2007 TO MARCH 2008.

Regarding beauty pageants and the whole Tara Conner thing: If they're looking for fine upstanding role models to be pageant winners, they're going to have to look again at girls and women who look like Ugly Betty or Rosanne or Rosie O'Donnell. Because in 2006/2007, you show me a hot sexy babe in miniskirts and high heels who looks like Tara Conner or Katie Rees, and I'll show you.....well, those notorious pics of Katie Rees! Or a porno star or pop star or spokesmodel or actress or something. (Look at the girls on/in car magazines.) Hot babes rule and they know what they want to be, what they want to do, where they want to go (as in hot nightclubs for debauchery from late night to dawn) and how to make big money nowadays. It's empowerment. Why? How? The socialogical aspects of that would fill up a book. Little girls, say 10 years old, are good girls. But when they grow up to be Katie Rees or Lindsay Lohan, the "good girl gone bad" deal is immensely titilating, and the girls know it now, and to them it's exciting. Let's face it, hot babes and money rule now. So I don't think the hot babes you saw winning beauty pageants in the past are going to be the girls who are role models who really contribute to society anymore. The image just doesn't correlate. And really, to me these concepts are happening 25 years later, as I worked at McDonald's in the early '80s with all the heavy metal babes. I know firsthand from back then what behavior hot chicks really exhibit. Just read the lyrics to Streetheart's 1982 hit "Snow White." Heck, girls wore jeans and high heels to the bars all the time then - it took 25 years for that look to hit The Bay and Sears and Old Navy catalogs! I guess the people who put those catalogs together go to bed way before prime bar hours where the girls go out dressed to kill. But now it's all on the internet the next day. And now we're back to Katie Rees! Hey, this comment has come full circle!