As Triple H of Degeneration X would bellow, "ARE YOU READY?"
Good, because this is the official relaunch and rechristening of THE BEAU ZONE in its' new home on Blogspot.
The Beau Zone, for those who aren't aware, is where you'll find all my controversial opinions on everything that aren't usually reflected in regular media, Winnipeg or otherwise, along with some cool pop culture jokes. Although, I admit, lately, there's been more of those pop culture jokes than anything else. That's because there hasn't been time for me to assimilate the longer opinion pieces in with the funny stuff. You see, when The Beau Zone was formerly a page of my website on my old TV show, Hard Rock Heroes (http://www.hardrockheroes.com), I had a page to fill and change every two months. Well, two months became six, and as I write this, I haven't done a new Beau Zone in a year. No time. The material is certainly there; most of what's on The Beau Zone is just copy and paste from stuff I write for other purposes. So what I have decided to do, for a variety of reasons, is to take The Beau Zone off of the Hard Rock Heroes site and move it to this Blogspot page, where I have the luxury of doing one post at a time. I don't have to fill up a whole page at a time anymore. Additionally, the archives are all here; I don't have to keep them elsewhere anymore, like on that MySpace page that will now function as just my personal MySpace page. (Meaning it took me a few months to redo the archives, i.e., to copy and paste them onto this Blogspot site.) So lick it up, people, and if you want to act out this symbolic christening by chucking a bottle of beer at the wall and smashing it all over the place, you're completely welcome to it. Hey, what's a party without smashed beer bottles all over the floor? And look at all the items on the left you can click on that take you to the entries in the archives; isn't that cool? That's one of the things about Blogspot I feel more comfortable with now. So I'll leave you with that for now; I want this writeup to be front and center for a while so I'm still going to hold off on any new entries for at least a month. I'll probably still do the pro wrestling entries in a conglomeration of several items, like the way I used to end off each Beau Zone on the Hard Rock Heroes site with the pro wrestling comments. They'll just appear whenever now, that's all. So call or e-mail all of your friends, friends with benefits, co-workers, co-workers with benefits, lovers, enemies, teachers, family, parole officers, and anyone else, and tell them THE BEAU ZONE IS NOW ON BLOGSPOT and that IT'S READY TO ROCK!
Me during the broadcast of "Much On Demand" outside in front of the Muchmusic building in Toronto, ON on September 25, 2003.
Showing posts with label DX. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DX. Show all posts
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Pro Wrestling Comments
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE TENTH EDITION OF "THE BEAU ZONE" ON THE HARD ROCK HEROES WEBSITE FROM JUNE 2007 TO MARCH 2008.
Remember when DX vandalized that Muscle & Fitness cover with Vince McMahon on the cover? When they were done, the pic of Vince looked just like Danny Bonaduce!
I wonder if, that time when doing play-by-play, King Booker had Vince in his headset telling him to tell stories instead of calling the holds in the match. (Only insiders will get this.)
In Torrie Wilson's recent FHM cover story interview, she says she'd like to have sex with someone under the ring. Hopefully she'll stick to Raw if she wants to do that. Hopefully she didn't try to do that at pay-per-views, 'cause does she realize there's probably that leprechaun, Hornswaggle, under the ring? Could you imagine that little bastard surprising Torrie and her companion under there? Not only that, JBL says he'd pay money to watch leprechauns copulate. I wonder if he means two leprechauns or just Hornswaggle with Torrie Wilson. The possibilities are endless.....
JBL's funniest line on Smackdown a few weeks ago, during a Miz match: "The Miz couldn't afford my escort service bills!"
Speaking of JBL, how come on Smackdown they can't promote Saturday Night's Main Event because it's on a competing network, yet JBL can talk about his Fox News appearances all the time?
Before WWE let Joey Mercury go, I was thinking: Why is MNM making Smackdown appearances? I thought Nitro and Melina were fired by Teddy Long. How is he allowing their return? Shows you why Krystal is right about him needing an assistant. Maybe they snuck on while he was watching Kane's "See No Evil" DVD. That was funny a few weeks ago: I think to myself, "Teddy Long's going to watch a DVD during Smackdown?" Then JBL said the same thing!
Remember when DX vandalized that Muscle & Fitness cover with Vince McMahon on the cover? When they were done, the pic of Vince looked just like Danny Bonaduce!
I wonder if, that time when doing play-by-play, King Booker had Vince in his headset telling him to tell stories instead of calling the holds in the match. (Only insiders will get this.)
In Torrie Wilson's recent FHM cover story interview, she says she'd like to have sex with someone under the ring. Hopefully she'll stick to Raw if she wants to do that. Hopefully she didn't try to do that at pay-per-views, 'cause does she realize there's probably that leprechaun, Hornswaggle, under the ring? Could you imagine that little bastard surprising Torrie and her companion under there? Not only that, JBL says he'd pay money to watch leprechauns copulate. I wonder if he means two leprechauns or just Hornswaggle with Torrie Wilson. The possibilities are endless.....
JBL's funniest line on Smackdown a few weeks ago, during a Miz match: "The Miz couldn't afford my escort service bills!"
Speaking of JBL, how come on Smackdown they can't promote Saturday Night's Main Event because it's on a competing network, yet JBL can talk about his Fox News appearances all the time?
Before WWE let Joey Mercury go, I was thinking: Why is MNM making Smackdown appearances? I thought Nitro and Melina were fired by Teddy Long. How is he allowing their return? Shows you why Krystal is right about him needing an assistant. Maybe they snuck on while he was watching Kane's "See No Evil" DVD. That was funny a few weeks ago: I think to myself, "Teddy Long's going to watch a DVD during Smackdown?" Then JBL said the same thing!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Pro Wrestling Comments
ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE NINTH EDITION OF "THE BEAU ZONE" ON THE HARD ROCK HEROES WEBSITE FROM NOVEMBER 2006 TO JUNE 2007.
Too bad Kevin Nash is under contract with TNA. If it wasn't for that, WWE could do DX vs. the NWO! Shawn and HHH vs. Hall and Nash! And Hall and Nash could have Eric Bischoff as their manager! It's never been done before! Vince could sic the NWO on DX! And the end of the match would have some kind of non-finish where the NWO turns and all four guys plus Bischoff celebrate in the ring! (MSG revisited!) Then Vince'll come out all pissed off and make a match, 5 on 5, with DX, the NWO, and Bischoff, vs. the Spirit Squad. Hey, it fits! Then Bischoff could drop out, saying he's not a wrestler, and replace himself with Sean Waltman, who of course was in BOTH the NWO and DX! Now, there's a match!
On the April 1 edition of TNA, I like it when James Mitchell says, "Christian, wherever you're hiding this week....." He was hiding here in Winnipeg at the World Of Wheels car show! I wonder if James Mitchell knew that. Maybe he and Abyss could have terrorized him here, too, after beating him up at his home. They sure would have had a lot of cars to choose from, to smash him onto. Hey, maybe Mitchell could have gotten Honky Tonk Man to join in! I should have gone. I should have asked Christian, "Aren't you feeling nervous signing autographs here when James Mitchell was terrorizing your wife at your home last week? Where's she today? Could he be doing it again?" What would Christian have said, knowing that that night on TNA Impact Mitchell would play the tape of him and Abyss beating him up in his own home? I could have shown Christian the Chris Jericho clipping, too, showing him how Jericho was running to be the next Manitoba Conservative leader, before the Winnipeg Sun revealed that to be a hoax the next day. I never thought about Christian when I saw that. For the record, I was fooled for about 30 seconds until I got back into my car after buying the Sun. "Wait a sec!" I thought, after realizing what day it was. I was wondering if it was that or the Craig Ferguson story (him maybe doing the Late Late Show here in Winnipeg for a week) that was a hoax. The third front-page story about Winnipeg gas stations charging for air I thought was probably true, as I paid 50 cents for air in Grand Forks, ND last fall. Hey, who needs Wrestlemania weekend when we've got our own stuff going on here in Winnipeg, the city the whole world revolves around?
I read in the gossip mags Stacy Keibler is now acting as a matchmaker for Nick Lachey, who obviously she met through his brother Drew on Dancing With The Stars. Maybe she'll hook him up with a WWE Diva. Well, not Mickie James, of course, she doesn't swing that way. Nick needs to ask himself if Mickie James will interfere in this in any way! He doesn't want whoever Stacy fixes him up with fooling around with Mickie James! (Hey, see the Pussycat Dolls comment above!)
Every time I hear the commentators say "Angle slam" during a Kurt Angle match, it makes me want to eat a breakfast dish called an Angle Slam at Perkins.
Shelton Benjamin's mama should seek out Simon Dean and try out his patented Simon system, don't you think?
So all I have left now is just some jokes on if Chris Jericho did become premier of Manitoba: 1) Instead of a press conference, he could have the Highlight Reel. 2) He could get new generations interested in politics - he could "bring the walls down!" 3) He could have been the Ayatollah of Manitoba!
Too bad Kevin Nash is under contract with TNA. If it wasn't for that, WWE could do DX vs. the NWO! Shawn and HHH vs. Hall and Nash! And Hall and Nash could have Eric Bischoff as their manager! It's never been done before! Vince could sic the NWO on DX! And the end of the match would have some kind of non-finish where the NWO turns and all four guys plus Bischoff celebrate in the ring! (MSG revisited!) Then Vince'll come out all pissed off and make a match, 5 on 5, with DX, the NWO, and Bischoff, vs. the Spirit Squad. Hey, it fits! Then Bischoff could drop out, saying he's not a wrestler, and replace himself with Sean Waltman, who of course was in BOTH the NWO and DX! Now, there's a match!
On the April 1 edition of TNA, I like it when James Mitchell says, "Christian, wherever you're hiding this week....." He was hiding here in Winnipeg at the World Of Wheels car show! I wonder if James Mitchell knew that. Maybe he and Abyss could have terrorized him here, too, after beating him up at his home. They sure would have had a lot of cars to choose from, to smash him onto. Hey, maybe Mitchell could have gotten Honky Tonk Man to join in! I should have gone. I should have asked Christian, "Aren't you feeling nervous signing autographs here when James Mitchell was terrorizing your wife at your home last week? Where's she today? Could he be doing it again?" What would Christian have said, knowing that that night on TNA Impact Mitchell would play the tape of him and Abyss beating him up in his own home? I could have shown Christian the Chris Jericho clipping, too, showing him how Jericho was running to be the next Manitoba Conservative leader, before the Winnipeg Sun revealed that to be a hoax the next day. I never thought about Christian when I saw that. For the record, I was fooled for about 30 seconds until I got back into my car after buying the Sun. "Wait a sec!" I thought, after realizing what day it was. I was wondering if it was that or the Craig Ferguson story (him maybe doing the Late Late Show here in Winnipeg for a week) that was a hoax. The third front-page story about Winnipeg gas stations charging for air I thought was probably true, as I paid 50 cents for air in Grand Forks, ND last fall. Hey, who needs Wrestlemania weekend when we've got our own stuff going on here in Winnipeg, the city the whole world revolves around?
I read in the gossip mags Stacy Keibler is now acting as a matchmaker for Nick Lachey, who obviously she met through his brother Drew on Dancing With The Stars. Maybe she'll hook him up with a WWE Diva. Well, not Mickie James, of course, she doesn't swing that way. Nick needs to ask himself if Mickie James will interfere in this in any way! He doesn't want whoever Stacy fixes him up with fooling around with Mickie James! (Hey, see the Pussycat Dolls comment above!)
Every time I hear the commentators say "Angle slam" during a Kurt Angle match, it makes me want to eat a breakfast dish called an Angle Slam at Perkins.
Shelton Benjamin's mama should seek out Simon Dean and try out his patented Simon system, don't you think?
So all I have left now is just some jokes on if Chris Jericho did become premier of Manitoba: 1) Instead of a press conference, he could have the Highlight Reel. 2) He could get new generations interested in politics - he could "bring the walls down!" 3) He could have been the Ayatollah of Manitoba!
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