Pro Wrestling Comments

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE NINTH EDITION OF "THE BEAU ZONE" ON THE HARD ROCK HEROES WEBSITE FROM NOVEMBER 2006 TO JUNE 2007.

Too bad Kevin Nash is under contract with TNA. If it wasn't for that, WWE could do DX vs. the NWO! Shawn and HHH vs. Hall and Nash! And Hall and Nash could have Eric Bischoff as their manager! It's never been done before! Vince could sic the NWO on DX! And the end of the match would have some kind of non-finish where the NWO turns and all four guys plus Bischoff celebrate in the ring! (MSG revisited!) Then Vince'll come out all pissed off and make a match, 5 on 5, with DX, the NWO, and Bischoff, vs. the Spirit Squad. Hey, it fits! Then Bischoff could drop out, saying he's not a wrestler, and replace himself with Sean Waltman, who of course was in BOTH the NWO and DX! Now, there's a match!

On the April 1 edition of TNA, I like it when James Mitchell says, "Christian, wherever you're hiding this week....." He was hiding here in Winnipeg at the World Of Wheels car show! I wonder if James Mitchell knew that. Maybe he and Abyss could have terrorized him here, too, after beating him up at his home. They sure would have had a lot of cars to choose from, to smash him onto. Hey, maybe Mitchell could have gotten Honky Tonk Man to join in! I should have gone. I should have asked Christian, "Aren't you feeling nervous signing autographs here when James Mitchell was terrorizing your wife at your home last week? Where's she today? Could he be doing it again?" What would Christian have said, knowing that that night on TNA Impact Mitchell would play the tape of him and Abyss beating him up in his own home? I could have shown Christian the Chris Jericho clipping, too, showing him how Jericho was running to be the next Manitoba Conservative leader, before the Winnipeg Sun revealed that to be a hoax the next day. I never thought about Christian when I saw that. For the record, I was fooled for about 30 seconds until I got back into my car after buying the Sun. "Wait a sec!" I thought, after realizing what day it was. I was wondering if it was that or the Craig Ferguson story (him maybe doing the Late Late Show here in Winnipeg for a week) that was a hoax. The third front-page story about Winnipeg gas stations charging for air I thought was probably true, as I paid 50 cents for air in Grand Forks, ND last fall. Hey, who needs Wrestlemania weekend when we've got our own stuff going on here in Winnipeg, the city the whole world revolves around?

I read in the gossip mags Stacy Keibler is now acting as a matchmaker for Nick Lachey, who obviously she met through his brother Drew on Dancing With The Stars. Maybe she'll hook him up with a WWE Diva. Well, not Mickie James, of course, she doesn't swing that way. Nick needs to ask himself if Mickie James will interfere in this in any way! He doesn't want whoever Stacy fixes him up with fooling around with Mickie James! (Hey, see the Pussycat Dolls comment above!)

Every time I hear the commentators say "Angle slam" during a Kurt Angle match, it makes me want to eat a breakfast dish called an Angle Slam at Perkins.

Shelton Benjamin's mama should seek out Simon Dean and try out his patented Simon system, don't you think?

So all I have left now is just some jokes on if Chris Jericho did become premier of Manitoba: 1) Instead of a press conference, he could have the Highlight Reel. 2) He could get new generations interested in politics - he could "bring the walls down!" 3) He could have been the Ayatollah of Manitoba!

Kathy Hilton/Jay Leno/Eric Bischoff Stuff

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE SIXTH EDITION OF "THE BEAU ZONE" ON THE HARD ROCK HEROES WEBSITE FROM AUGUST TO DECEMBER 2005.

Forgive me for this not being in the "Pro Wrestling" section in case you don't get this..... A recent edition of The National Enquirer reported that Kathy Hilton and her daughter Paris Hilton almost had a fight causing Paris not to appear on The Tonight Show with her mother recently. They made up, however, when Jay Leno reportedly wouldn't have Kathy Hilton on by herself. Well, of course not! Kathy Hilton's appearance was to plug her new show, I Want To Be A Hilton (which rocks, by the way - and Jules is hot). That's the show WWE Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff revealed to Joe Aiello in his famous No Holds Barred interview on CITI FM here in Winnipeg last year that he and his partner Jason Hervey had sold to NBC. THE SAME ERIC BISCHOFF that, with Hulk Hogan, as the NWO a few years ago, tried to take over The Tonight Show from Jay Leno! Remember that? Jay had to go get Diamond Dallas Page and two cops to take Hogan and Bischoff out! Of course Jay isn't going to play ball with Eric! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Pro Wrestling Comments

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE THIRD EDITION OF "THE BEAU ZONE" ON THE HARD ROCK HEROES WEBSITE FROM SEPTEMBER TO DECEMBER 2004.

Here's something I keep forgetting about: WWE did a Chris Jericho home video awhile back called "Chris Jericho: Break Down The Walls." In it is a brief clip of a Club Taboo match here in Winnipeg in 1990 or 1991 which was one of Chris' first pro matches. In the video he talked about wrestling at this bar, but he mistakenly identified the bar as "Georgie's." Why? Surely Chris hasn't forgotten the name "Club Taboo," even though today that bar is called Mardi Gras. We do have a bar called Georgie's in Winnipeg (or by now that place has changed names, too), and since that time Georgie's has held wrestling events, most notably Joe & Cyrus' No Hold Barred wrestling cards, but they didn't have wrestling back in the early 90s. Or if Chris did wrestle at Georgie's back then and I didn't know about it, well, on the video first we see him talking about how he was going to wrestle somewhere in Winnipeg but not knowing quite where yet, then talking about how he drove past the marquee at "Georgie's" that said "wrestling" and how he thought at the time that wrestling in a bar was cheesy and how he didn't realize that's the very card he was on. Then we go to a Club Taboo match from promotor Tony Condello's TV show he had on CKY at the time, which would indicate that when he mentions Georgie's, that that is what we should then be seeing - Chris at Georgie's, which is not correct. Plus I always thought that the Club Taboo matches were definitely the first time Chris wrestled professionally in Winnipeg. So does anyone know the deal on that flub? I tried e-mailing Chris through his website as well as slapping a version of this on his message board, but no response. Anyone know?

No one ever points out Kane's beginnings when they write or talk about him, as to why they kept him in the mask, why keep his gimmick, etc. (This was when he was still in the mask.) When WWF/E made the decision to go to "Attitude," they had just created Kane and his storyline with the Undertaker. To pull the plug on that would have been disastrous, since that was a major angle. WWF/E saw what changing things like that does without telling the fans a word about it before (Shawn Michaels and his "knights," anyone?). So someone said, "Okay, this angle will be our last vestibule from our former 'cartoon wrestling' stance. We'll keep this one running, and this will be that style's only hangover nto the current product." That's why Kane existed all these years in the first place. Too bad WWE couldn't come up with a reason why Kane didn't need a voice box any more. I'll be looking for how they write about that in any Kane career synopsis I read in the future. Hopefully Kane's "marriage" to Lita doesn't overshadow that little detail in the writeups.

I was disappointed both WWE and Dave Meltzer's Wrestling Observer Newsletter said piss-all about Miss Elizabeth's tenure in WCW in her death coverage. Liz became a heel in WCW, and showed us a "good girl gone bad" routine I thoroughly enjoyed. Her peak was when she was in the NWO, paired up with Savage again, but this time both as heels, making them the Bonnie and Clyde of the NWO. Who can forget Liz spray painting "NWO" on Kimberly's back, placing her foot on a prone Disco Inferno while Savage counted the 1-2-3, or slamming a steel chair over Sting's head? Plus her leather outfits. I was in ecstasy at that - Liz as a bad girl - YEAH!!! All she was missing was the four-letter words and the cigarettes. Her crowning moment was in that Savage/DDP match at Halloween Havoc (forgot what year) when she smashed a "glass" candy tray over referee Mickey Jay's head and then strangled a prone DDP with the television cord before Kimberly ran out and grabbed Liz and ran her to the back. And in the description of that match, Meltzer LEFT THAT OUT!!!!! I never got around to writing him about that one. That's the Observer's figgest faux-pas. Then later on when the roles were sort of reversed and Kimberly was a heel and Liz was kidnapped and Kimberly was making Liz her slave, the stuff between the two of them was FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!! Well, mainly because of Kim, but she was just hilarious as the hot babe that's full of herself. I miss that character so much and it's too bad Kim didn't come back as a heel with DDP when DDP went to WWE. Kim could still come back now as Bischoff's assistant. She was also hilarious in that role in WCW when Bischoff (in the gray hair) and Russo would talk about their matters and Kim would interrupt to talk about her career or her nails or whatever. HILARIOUS!!!