Pro Wrestling Comments

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE ELEVENTH EDITION OF "THE BEAU ZONE" ON THE HARD ROCK HEROES WEBSITE FROM MARCH TO NOVEMBER 2008.

On Saturday Night's Main Event this past August 18, in the illegitimate child angle, Johnathan Coachman talks about Vince McMahon being at an afterparty in L.A. after Wrestlemania 2 in 1986 and brings out Melina as a possible daughter. Vince McMahon wasn't in L.A. for Wrestlemania 2. He was in New York commentating with Susan Saint James. That was the three-city Wrestlemania with the celebrity commentators. L.A. had Jesse Ventura and Elvira (with Lord Alfred Hayes added at the last minute) and Chicago had Gorilla Monsoon and Cathy Lee Crosby (with Gene Okerlund added at the last minute). McMahon and Saint James were at Nassau Colisseum and SNME was at New York's Madison Square Garden, so the crowd should have groaned at that, except that most of the crowd now is probably too young to remember 1986. Also, the live crowd doesn't hear the commentators, for those in the crowd that do remember because they were in the arena, and furthermore, as I recall, McMahon and Saint James were not in the arena at ringside but were doing their commentary from a table in the back for some reason.

When Vince McMahon's "demise" happened on Raw with the limo blowing up, I first thought....."The Voodoo Kin Mafia finally succeeded!" Good thing they never took credit for it on TNA TV, what with the Benoit thing happening right after that and Vince, not in character, forced to show his face on TV.

In TNA, next time Brother Ray tells a house show crowd that he'd rather masturbate with broken glass, Abyss should show up with the bag of broken glass and pour it in the ring and invite Ray to utilize it.

The wrestling media says WWE doesn't want to promote Marcus Cor Von as a former NFL linebacker because that's the way TNA promoted him. So it was funny in that battle royal he was in on Raw with all three commentating teams when JBL and Tazz were arguing about him and JBL brings up the point, "But he played in a Super Bowl, Tazz!" Leave it to JBL, who can say whatever the hell he wants out there. (Since that time, Cor Von has left WWE.)

If James Storm ever finds himself in the same ring as Steve Austin, his gimmick still works, because the heel drinks his beer out of a bottle. The face drinks his out of cans. Bottles are more dangerous than cans. Storm hits people over the head with his beer bottle. Maybe he'll hit Austin one day. So it makes sense. If anyone thinks this feud will never happen, well, maybe that's why TNA now has Stone Cold Shark Boy! (Even though he too, drinks, or "drinks," his drink of choice, which isn't beer but clam juice, out of bottles.)

WWE fired Cryme Time, and I wonder if this had something to do with it: Cryme Tyme get no reaction from the crowd because the fans can't understand why these guys are supposed to be faces with all the henious things they've done. Some of the stuff they've done in their skits is funny, but it really only works if they're heels. I think this is what you get when you take "cool heels" and make them babyfaces. Cyrus used to say on the former Joe & Cyrus wrestling radio show that he hates cool heels because the crowd makes them the babyface. I don't agree, because the actions of the heels are still henious. They just conduct themselves in such a fashion that gets the alternative members of society - which isn't the majority in a crowd of arena wrestling fans - to be fans of them, but ONLY because the goings-on in pro wrestling are just storyline. My friends and I used to cheer Jesse Ventura and Adrian Adonis in the AWA in the '70s. We knew their attitudes weren't real. But most wrestling fans aren't that sophisticated, they're more like sheep, so they'll continue to boo "cool heels." I just wonder if someone in WWE was doing this on purpose, to show that cool heels can't really be actual babyfaces.

Pro Wrestling Comments

ORIGINALLY POSTED ON THE SIXTH EDITION OF "THE BEAU ZONE" ON THE HARD ROCK HEROES WEBSITE FROM AUGUST TO DECEMBER 2005.

How about MNM? Aren't they THE HOTTEST TAG TEAM EVER? Melina reminds me of J.Lo - In fact, Josh Matthews should ask her if Nitro & Mercury are wearing real fur, and she should angrily blurt out, "Of course they're wearing real fur, you moron!" That's in regard to J.Lo and the PETA controversy with her perhaps wearing real fur. It's about time someone started name-dropping celebrities again! I haven't heard that on a regular basis since Jesse Ventura in the 70s said stuff like, "Mean Gene, what do you think of these sunglasses Cheryl Ladd gave me?" I can hardly wait to party with Melina and the boys at Rain at The Palms or the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas with Ashton, Paris, Nicole, Nick & Jessica, Britney & Kevin, etc.

Re: Viscera & Trish's dinner date: Maybe he should've been wearing that Tag body spray. (If anyone doesn't get that, Trish is the spokesperson in Canada for Tag Body Spray.)

Did you see Punk'd with Goldberg where the stunt backfired and the semi didn't run over his motorcycle? I wonder if Ashton Kutcher remarked to Goldberg, "I guess you're used to this kind of stuff from WCW, huh?"

This is an old comment but I wanted to use it so here goes: Remember when Heidenreich was still a heel and had to wear a straight jacket? So, at that time, lemme get this straight: With WWE's new dress code, if I ran into him at an airport, not only does he have to wear a dress shirt and dress pants, but over it he now also has to wear a straight jacket, too? Hey, how about NOW with the Road Warrior gimmick? Hey, maybe WWE will make him and Animal wear dress shirts and dress pants along with their makeup and those spiked shoulder pads! Wouldn't that be a look? Animal wearing any shirt over his gut would be an improvement, though.