Me during the broadcast of "Much On Demand" outside in front of the Muchmusic building in Toronto, ON on September 25, 2003.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Let's Do The Samoan Time Warp: My Idea For Back To The Future, Part 4

Robert Zemeckis, where are you?

I have an idea for Back to the Future Part 4!

In Part 4, Marty McFly has grown up, has unfortunately acquired Parkinson's disease (not funny, not supposed to be, like the Family Guy parodies, but necessary), and has a teen-aged son. Marty and his son visit Doc Brown, and the Doc tells them he has added a new feature to the DeLorean time machine that allows them to land somewhere else in time in any other spot in the world, not just the spot they left from.

Okay, now read this condensed news item that was in the press after New Year's last year, at the start of 2012:

"A hop across the international date line transported the South Pacific island nation of Samoa 24 hours into the future - making it the first in the world to ring in the new year. Samoans began the stroke of midnight on Thursday, Dec. 29, when the country skipped over Friday and moved straight into 12:01 a.m. on Dec. 31. Samoa and neighbouring Tokelau lie near the date line that zigzags vertically through the Pacific Ocean, and both sets of islands decided to realign themselves this year from the Americas side of the line to the Asia side, to be more in tune with key trading partners."

So back to our story: Marty's son thinks the time machine is really neat, but, with Marty and the Doc in the car, accidentally sets it to travel back in time to Samoa guessed it - December 30, 2011!!!!! A DAY THAT DOESN'T EXIST! Great Scott!!

What happens then? Do the three of them get sucked into some kind of epic vortex? Well, that's for Zemeckis and the writers to find out, I guess. But Robert, baby, if you're reading this, e-mail me at and I'll tell you where to send my cheque for coming up with the idea for the film. And if a film gets made like that and no one from the film sees this, well, you guys know who got the idea first, so.....LAWYER TIME!!! Well, once we determine if Zemeckis and his crew didn't come up with the idea themselves in the last year. It's taken me a year to get to this. If they didn't, then film or no film: bring on the cash. Then, once I have the cash, bring on the girls. It's party time. Evander Kane, eat your heart out. If no film gets made? Then at least all of you have gotten a lot of fun and enjoyment from reading this!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Rock Of Ages stuff

Okay, first let's get this out of the way - ROCK OF AGES IS THE GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME!!! Well, actually, I'm not sure how it fares and compares with The Brady Bunch parody movies, The Blues Brothers, or the Back To The Future trilogy. As time goes on, will I think it's better than all of those, or will it just take its' own place among those films as "its' own thing," a film that, like those others, simply stands on its' own? I don't know. In fact, due to the Winnipeg Fringe Festival, I failed to see Rock Of Ages a second time in the theatre before it left the screens. But the movie's mixing of '80s hair metal power ballads and Broadway musical tugs right at my heartstrings, because for me it mixes the musical environment I grew up in as a kid with my mother's show-tune albums, the FM and vinyl record store rock environment I was introduced to as a '70s teen, and the environment that spawned, the '80s hair-band/cock-rock scene that was in full force when I did my TV show Hard Rock Heroes. And it mixes those worlds perfectly and effortlessly.

So, with that, I tweeted a great deal about this movie. But comments like the ones above aren't suitable for Tweets - too long and can't adequately be shortened. So the stuff I ended up tweeting were my fun observations of the film's historical accuracy, which was mostly bang-on. And, by coincidence, in my last blog post, I talked about possibly reprinting Twitter comments here. So without further adieu, here are those comments, all collected and reprinted here. BUT: I actually had taken those comments previously and turned them into a writeup I had sent one of the Winnipeg media music writers. So it's actually that writeup that I will now pull apart to seperate ideas into their own paragraphs below. So that's why what's below doesn't really look like Tweets.

So here we go:

"In the poster for this film, why is Alec Baldwin wearing a 1996 Kiss reunion t-shirt when Rock Of Ages is set in 1987? And that shirt would be purported to be a '70s one, too, or it better, 'cause in 1987 the last time Kiss had worn makeup and had both Ace and Peter in the band was in very early 1980." (Note: Baldwin, or anyone else, never actually wore that shirt in the film. Good.)

"In the Tower Records store, there was a Kiss Crazy Nights poster, and that album came out in September 1987, so the movie is obviously set in the fall. But why is 'More Than Words' by Extreme here, when that song came out in 1990? And funny how that's the only song that doesn't fit timewise. Is someone an Extreme fan?"

"The first time Stacee Jaxx is presented to us is a mixture of Gene's entrance and Paul's re-entrance, when the reporter finds him in his bedroom, in the home video Kiss Exposed, and Stacee's monkey is also stolen from Kiss Exposed."

"Ironically, Kiss Exposed came out in 1987. Maybe the picture is trying to be painted that monkeys were hip then."

"Oh, and Steven Tyler's monkey in that skit in the American Idol finale was stolen from Kiss Exposed, too. He should get that monkey to help him at Burger King."

"Teaching today's generation about records and used record store culture. Try the plotline about Sherrie's stolen records with a fucking IPod."

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Still here, people

Don't worry, everyone, I haven't suddenly dropped off the face of the earth. I just kind of made a conscious decision after I did the last blog entry that I was so satisfied with what I wrote that I was going to leave it up as the last blog entry for a really long time. So it's been around nine months now, and I don't really have any ideas for a new blog, at least none that don't require a lot of time, which is in short supply these days. Add to that the fact that in November I went through some horrid audio-video computer problems that were mostly fixed before the end of 2011, but not fully fixed until two weeks ago. So that's why, for those of you who watch my You Tube videos, I haven't done a "Webcam 2" video yet. But that can now be green-lighted again. And I still use my MySpace blog as a secondary blog for secondary issues. I think the way I used to do The Beau Zone in the past (check the archives) is dead now due to lack of time, plus the fact the jokes I think of are now directed to my Twitter feed. Although I could reprint that stuff here, I suppose. I've just never thought of it. Maybe I'll consider it. But for now, this text you're reading is my free pass to make even more time pass to keep that last blog entry I did prominent on this page before I do a next real blog, and to direct you, if you haven't already, and especially if you're someone in the media who has power and influence in hiring, to check out that blog entry that is called "Toys In The Attic: The Aspirations And Regrets Of A Media Fan And Personality." It is directly below. TTYL, everyone, and don't drink the water in Mexico.